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When did it all go wrong? - Everything Hits at Once
superhappytime
superhappytime
When did it all go wrong?
When did it all go wrong? In the past few weeks? Months ago? Years?

Was it a professional choice? A decision to move? Something in college? Earlier than that?

You trace the path backward and still can't find that one single point. The one that marks the beginning. The beginning from which all other decisions lead down a connected path of regrets.

The point where everything got fucked up.

I've worked with people my whole life--at least until recently--who always want to assign the blame to someplace else. But if the situation keeps changing, yet you get the same result--another boss that is mean to you, co-workers that don't understand, something or another not being fair...at some point it's time to look at the common denominator and realize that maybe it's not the whole world having a problem...and maybe your life is no less fair than anyone else's...and maybe it's time to start looking back at your own choices that have put you in the position you're in.

I've never been depressed. At least I don't think so. And I know there are these lists that circulate the internet and pop up on facebook where the basic premise is "here's a list of things you shouldn't say to someone who is depressed, and if you are saying them it just shows them you're a self-centered asshole who only really cares about how things relate to you as opposed to actually genuinely caring about your friend/relation/lover/co-worker/etc."

And yet everyone does it. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself. People are worse off than you. Go make yourself happy. It's your own fault."

And I know it's a dick thing to say to anyone when the proper option is to ask how you can help and try to understand.

But sometimes I have a hard time feeling sympathy for other people.

Especially people who are educated and employed. I can understand people who've had bad break after bad break and never been given an opportunity. But plenty of people I know--everyone I choose to have in my immediate life away from work--tends to make something of the opportunities presented. So I don't get those who self-destruct...and then blame everyone else for the promotion that never came or not getting the best assignment or whatever else.

Maybe I'm a secret Republican on the inside.
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